¶ BEEFMEN
BEEFMEN CAN TELEPORT
BEEFMEN BLEED A LOT BUT GO FAST
YOU CAN LOSE LIMBS ON PURPOSE LOL
YOU ALSO HALLUCINATE A LOT SO ENJOY THAT
HE WATCHES
Welcome to Beefman Bootcamp. In this guide you’re going to learn (basically) everything you need to know to survive as one of the “best” races ever!
¶ Phisiology of Beefmen
Beefmen are, as the name implies, made of beef, and are very fragile creatures. A Beefman hitting someone with their fists is like getting hit with a cold, meaty, and bloody pillow. It ain’t going to do much. However, a Beefman getting hit is basically filling that pillow up with rocks and then bashing them upside the head with it. You have two options when in combat: Either run away, or minimize getting hit. Beefmen have the highest default speed, so outrunning your enemies is your safest option. If you do manage to get caught, beefmen have the smallest hitbox of humanoids, and you can always rip off your limbs to get away by targeting the limb you want to remove on disarm intent. If you are missing an arm, you won't be able to be handcuffed by security. Doing this will give you a slab of meat that you can then either eat or mash back on later.
¶ Temperature
Beefmen are cold blooded, so they will be highly affected by the temperature of the station. If the station is too warm, their internal temperature will rise. If their internal temperature goes over 24C, they'll start to experience blood loss and the oxygen damage that comes with it. To counteract this, you can take a cold shower, inject yourself with temperature reducing chems, or take off warm clothing. As a last resort, you can sear yourself by grabbing a lightbulb or burning yourself with a lighter or a welding tool. You need 30 burn damage to stop blood loss related to warm termperatures. However, with this comes an immunity to the cold, which makes beefmen uniquely equiped to handle ice moon as any temperature below 24C is tolerable for beefmen. This also means that beefmen can EVA with only your internals, a fire suit, and a fire helmet.
¶ Brain Traumas
Okay, yeah, Beefmen are basically the racial equivalent of a taped-together ceramic vase, but their MINDS are… Basically that vase but shattered into a million, tiny, little dust particles. Forget the tape, there is almost no fixing this shit. If you haven’t noticed yet, Beefmen tend to hallucinate. A lot. You got to learn to deal with these hallucinations (At least somewhat). Here is a list of some hallucinations, and how you can deal with them. Beefmen all start with two permanent brain traumas: Awoken Sleeper and Schizophrenia. Additioanlly, Beefmen are also sleep immune, so sleepy pens and other knock out chems won't cause them to pass out, but will still give toxin damage.
¶ Awoken Sleeper
Beefmen start with this unique brain trauma that allows them to teleport to another location on the map via small photober tears that randomly appear on the map, that will only be visible to you. Examining a tears will tell you the location of the opposing tear, but you will only be allowed to teleport if both ends of the photober tear are not being observed by a player-controlled mob. Silicon do not count for this.
¶ Schizophrenia (Hallucinations)
Beefmen Schizophrenia operates the same way as Schizoprhenia normally works in the game, and the affects can be mitigated by a constant supply of Psicodine. Some of the more disruptive hallucinations include:
- Fire Hallucination: Sit under a shower for like a second. Should go away.
- Death Hallucination: Nothing, you’re kind of fucked.
- Flux Anomaly Hallucination: Avoid it if you see one. If it moves into you then you are fine, but if YOU move into it then it’ll shock the piss out of you and you’ll be down for the count.
- Door Shock Hallucination: Nothing, you’re boned.
- Bubblegum Hallucination (Big Demon Thing): Run (at least) all of the way out of the runes.
There are also visual hallucinations and auditory hallucinations that do not affect you. These are usually to pick out from normal conversation, so if anyone is saying that the HoS is Clockcult or if everyone turns into giant carps then you are most likely hallucinating.
¶ Why you should play beefmen:
Now you may be saying, “Where the fuck is the good part of being a Beefman? This all sounds like shit!” Well, first of all, shut the hell up. Imagine everything else on this guide as like the shittier beef cuts, and then imagine this part as like the filet mignon. There are several pros that Beefmen have. For example:
- You can remove/reattach limbs with any slab of meat. (Click the intended limb while on Combat mode) Replacing your damaged limbs with fresh, healthy slabs of meat will heal you as well as remove a portion of whatever reagent is inside you at that time.
- You’re fast as fuck. Just keep your mood up and you’ll always be able to outrun Security.
- You are immune to falling asleep and move 20% faster than your fellow crewmates.
- You’re part of the best race EVER!!!
¶ TL;DR
Unique traits:
- Brain Traumas (Hallucinations, Schizophrenia)
- Photober Tear (Teleportation)
- Cold immunity & Melts in heat
- Sleep Immune
- Fast
- Does less damage
- Takes more damage
- Detach & Reattach limbs at will
This is basically all you need to know in order to live as a Beefman. Good luck out there, and always be sure to state how superior Beefmen are compared to every other race.
Original Guide by Franklin